Break The Habit of A Lifetime
by Bubblegum Kisses
Summary: Sam you have to tell Dean. I cant. I just need time to figure things out, Maggie you cant tell him...please.
1. Chapter 1

**Sequal to Regeneration, but a few months later.**

**Themes: Drama, Angst, Supernatural,**

**Rating: M**

**Characters: Sam, Dean, Maggie, Lola.**

**Disclamers: I dont own Supernatural or its characters. Maggie is my own character creation. Lola is the creation of my best friend, fellow Fan fic author and collaborator.**

_**This story will be the set up for a collaboration I will be doing with my best friend (pen name bubble gum thai) . It introduces her character Lola a fellow female hunter. And sets the up the collab'. Hope you all enjoy as much as I have realy enjoyed writing this story, have to say has been a bit of an emotoinal journey for me as I have pushed the character's too the limit. Particularly my origional character, Maggie. Also want to say a huge huge thankies to bubblegumthai for all her help with this one, her ideas and her being a souding board were realy appreciated and I think realy hepled make this what I feel an awesome fic. No Im not trying to be big headed. I just put alot into this one...but I hope it was worth it.**_

_**And so Im now going to stop rambling and hand you over the Dean, Sam and Maggie in...**_

**Break the habit of a lifetime**

_Maggie tossed and turned in the Hotel bed. She let out a frustrated sigh and pulled herself up from the pillow. She brushed aside her hair behind her ear and swung her legs round to the side of the bed. After rubbing her eyes, trying to focus in the dark, Maggie sauntered over to the bathroom. She reached for the cord and blinked as she turned on the light. When she opened her eyes, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. Dean was slumped against the wall, his legs sprawled out in front of him. A pool of blood surrounded him; his t-shirt that was a light grey was now a dark red. His face was bruised and bloodied._

_Maggie's eyes widened with shock and terror. She felt cold with fear. _

"_Sam!" She screamed for Sam before turning round to come face to face with Sam. She looked down at his hands. They were stained with blood and holding a small knife. Maggie frowned and looked up at Sam's face. His eyes were cold and empty._

"_Sam?" Maggie begun to ask Sam what he had done but felt blood fill her mouth as Sam thrust the knife into her stomach._

Sam sprang up in his bed; he felt a cold sweat clinging to his back. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

He looked over to Maggie's bed and then to Dean's. They were both sleeping peacefully.

Sam held his head in pain. He had felt this way before, the same intense piercing pain behind his eyes. It was a vision, but unlike any other he had had before. This time he was the one who was behind the death. He was the one he needed to watch. But it couldn't be, he wouldn't do that to his brother, he couldn't. Could he.

A silver moon shone through the splintered boards that were covering the broken windows of the warehouse. The floorboards creaked as Maggie slowly crossed the room. She held up a small torch shoulder height and scanned the room as she made her way to the door.

But she stopped in her tracks when she heard faint whispering and then heavy breathing coming from behind her.

She held her stance for a few seconds; then she spun round and grabbed the arm of the pale spirit.

Maggie was about to kick it back but the spirit grabbed her ankle. It cut her leg with the rusty knife he held in his hand.

Maggie fell onto her back. The spirit lunged at her with the blade but Maggie caught its wrist just in time. The two struggled for control of the weapon. The spirit's menacing eyes looked strait into Maggie's. Maggie looked back and a small smile appeared in the corner of her mouth.

"Sam now!" Maggie called with no reply.

"Sam!" Maggie shouted again, she was beginning to loose her grip on the spirits arm. The blade was moving dangerously close; fear was building from the pit of her stomach. Why wasn't Sam coming to blow away the son of a bitch? He knew the plan, she was the bait, and Sam would hold it back with the shotgun while Dean burned the bones. What had gone wrong?

Sam was where he was supposed to be, but he was doubled over, holding his head in pain. He was having another vision. A series of images flashed before his eyes.

A dark figure in a doorway. A gunshot ringing in the air. A woman screaming in terror.

"Sam!"

Maggie's third cry for help snapped him out of it. Sam scooped up the gun he had dropped on the floor and raced round the corner.

When he got there, Maggie's arm had finally given way and the knife went straight through her shoulder, she screamed in pain.

Sam aimed the shotgun at the spirits head and fired. The spirit disappeared in a blast of smoke and dust. Maggie let out a sigh of relief and clutched at her shoulder.

"What the hell took you so long?" Maggie demanded, her face a mix of pain and anger. But the anger soon changed to concern when she looked at Sam's pale and troubled expression.

"I'm sorry". Sam apologised quietly. But he knew it wasn't good enough, Maggie was counting on him and he let her down.

"Sam, what is it".

Before Sam had time to answer Dean entered the room.

"Everyone okay?" He looked down at Maggie, then at Sam.

"Yeah, we're fine, did you burn the bones?" Sam answered, happy for the change of subject.

"Yep". Dean replied, though he could tell from Sam's expression that he was not fine.

He could sense the awkward silence building between Sam and Maggie.

"Well I don't know about you, but I m ready to get the hell out of here". He helped Maggie up from the floor and the three of them left the building in silence.

-


	2. Chapter 2

_**Break the habit of a life time Part 2**_

After a few hours and a long silent drive, they were in a bar making their way through another round of beers.

"Well here's to another job well done". Dean raised his bottle in a toast to their success. Sam and Maggie smiled, they returned the gesture and chinked their glasses together. Just as Dean took another drink of his beer, a waitress with long blonde hair walked passed, a round tray balanced on the palm of her hand.

Maggie caught Dean looking although she could tell he wasn't much interested in the design on the back of her top.

"You know having been a waitress for a year I m going to let you into a little secret".

Dean turned his head back to Maggie.

"We hate having our Asses grabbed or stared at".

This statement took Dean aback; slightly embarrassed that Maggie had called him out.

"If you want to talk to her, just talk to her." Maggie continued. Dean got up from his chair and swung his head round the back of it.

"Oh and Dean don't forget, her eyes are up here, not down here". Maggie pointed to her eyes, then to her chest. She gave Dean a teasing smile and raised her eyebrows. Dean laughed sarcastically and walked away to the bar.

"I swear, how your brother ever gets dates astounds me". Maggie chortled before taking a sip of her beer. But her smile soon disappeared when she saw the expression on Sam's face. He hadn't said a word since the job; he just sat, staring into space. She could tell from his eyes that his brain was ticking in over drive.

"So, you want to tell me what happened earlier."

Sam looked down at the beer-stained table and let out a sigh in reluctance.

"Its nothing".

"Sam I saw your face, don't tell me that was nothing". Maggie looked Sam strait in the eyes. Sam could barely meet her gaze. He really didn't want to tell her what was bothering him. But he knew she wouldn't stop asking until he did.

"You remember I told you that I have visions".

"Yeah death visions; visions of people who are about to die".

"Well I had one last night".

"And…" Maggie held her hand asking for Sam to elaborate.

"We were staying at a hotel, you couldn't sleep so you got up to go to the bathroom and when you went in, you found Dean…I think he was dead".

Maggie looked back with a frown. "Have you told Dean about this?" She asked in a calm tone of voice.

"No".

"Why not, Sam I think he needs to know if someone is going to kill him".

"Its me…I kill him". Sam answered his voice slightly raised.

"How do you…"

"When you turned around, I was standing there with bloody hands holding a knife".

"Sam, that doesn't mean that you're going to kill Dean". Maggie tried to rationalise Sam's proposal.

"What else could it mean"? Sam finally looked Maggie in the eyes.

"Sam you need to tell him". Maggie leaned in and told Sam firmly.

"I cant".

"Well what are you going to do, you can't avoid him for the rest of your life".

"I know that". "It happened during the night, so all I have to do is make sure I m nor in the room when your both asleep". "I'll book another room and sneak out when Dean falls asleep".

"You can't keep that up forever Sam".

"I know, I just need time to figure things out." "Maggie you can't tell him, please".

Maggie let out a sigh.

"Okay".


	3. Chapter 3

Sam sat on the end of the bed in darkness, the only light coming from the flashing vacancy sign and the red glow of the alarm clock that sat on the bedside cabinet. Sam looked at the time, 3:00am. He rose from the bed and slowly walked over to Dean's bed, he peered over to see if he was asleep. After confirming that Dean was well gone he approached Maggie's bed. She was sat upright against the wall, but her head tilted to the side, eyes closed. Sam gently tapped her on the shoulder. Maggie opened her eyes and sat up a little, rubbing her neck, which had become stiff from being in such an awkward position.

"I'm gonna go now". Sam whispered. Maggie tentatively moved her legs to the edge of the bed and followed Sam out into the corridor. She pulled the door to gently so as not to wake Dean.

Sam's room was two doors down. Sam entered and paused in the doorway, pulling the key from the lock.

"I'll see you in the morning".

"Yeah, Sam are you sure about this, I mean, what's the worst Dean could say?"

"I'm sure, if I stop it tonight, it could hopefully be over in the morning".

"But what if it isn't?"

Sam forced a smile, trying to hide the fact that he was thinking the same thing.

"See you in a couple of hours".

And with that Maggie turned and walked back to the room, Sam's door closing shut behind her.

She entered the room and shut the door softly as possible. When she turned round and looked at up, she was disturbed to find that Dean was not in his bed. After everything that Sam had told her, panic set in. She headed strait for the bathroom. She franticly turned on the light and there he was. His face black and blue, stained with blood. Blood seeped through his T-shirt and shorts. Maggie dove to his side, feeling at his neck for a pulse. He was still alive. She pulled herself up, her feet slipping on the bloodstained floor.

She raced up to Sam's door and began pelting her bloody hands repeatedly on the paint chipped wood.

As Maggie's screams echoed along the hotel corridor, Dean let out a soft groan, his cheek immersed in warm and sticky blood. He watched, as time seemed to slow. Maggie and Sam returned, racing through the door. He could see, rather than hear Sam cry his name as he skidded to his knees beside him. He felt Sam's large hands grab his t-shirt and haul him up onto his knees, his hands now on his face, trying to wake him up. Darkness began to creep in from all sides as his gaze moved slightly to Maggie, sobbing into a phone. Dean wanted desperately to reach out and take Sam's hand to reassure him, but he felt cold and like he was drifting. The darkness was closing in now and just as the last fragment of light vanished, he thought he heard Sam's muffled voice, as if her were under water;

"Dean! DEAN!"

"White male, 27; multiple stab wounds to the back and chest; excessive blood loss!" A paramedic urgently informed a team of nurses and doctors.

"Get me two units of O neg' and a round of epy!" A doctor ordered as he pulled open Dean's eyelid and shone a light in his eyes. "Pupils are fixed and dilated, have the crash cart ready!"

A nurse hastily inserted an IV into Dean's bloody hand, attached a tube, the injected a syringe into the canular. Excess liquid dripped out as she pushed the drug into the drip as ordered.

Another nurse cut open Dean's shirt and attached a long wire connected to heart monitor to Dean's chest. A series of fast paced beats rang out through the glass cubicle of the ER.

"BP 160".

"Stats are dropping".

"We need to get him into the OR right now!"

The nurses stepped back, propped up the stainless steel railings on the side of the gurney. One of the nurses grabbed hold of the IV stand in one hand and helped the other nurses push the portable bed towards the elevator.

Sam put a foot into the elevator, but was held back by the doctor. "Sorry sir but you will have to wait here, surgery will call you when it's possible for you to come up"

And with that the sliding steel doors closed. Sam was left standing an emotional wreck. Maggie came up behind him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder and they both stood in silence staring at the elevator, waiting for the next one to take them up.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Break the habit of a life time Part 4**_

With a little moan, a bright flash awoke Dean from his semi-coma state. He opened his hazy olive-coloured eyes tentatively as the midday sun shinned through the window relentlessly. He lifted his head ever so slightly, though his neck throbbed to do so to see Maggie sitting by his bedside, watching someone off on the other side of the room. Dean followed her glance to see Sam pacing slightly in the doorway, talking on his mobile phone. The elder of the duo strained to hear his brother's words;

"…I know…but, we need you. HE needs you. He's in a pretty bad way. It doesn't look good…"

"Dean!" Maggie cried, suddenly noticing him in the bed. Sam whipped his head around,

"He's awake…I've got to go…please…"

The darkness was beginning to return and Dean let his head fall back against the pillow with a sigh as Sam rushed over and leant over his bed, he was back in silence with darkness soon approaching.

A few nerve-racking moments later, Sam was sat on a chair leaning his elbows on the edge of Dean's bed. He watched as the oxygen mask steamed up every time Dean took a shallow breath. A row of steri-strips held together a gash on his cheek and eyebrow. His left eye was mixed tone of purple and yellow, slightly swollen. The green cuff of a blood pressure monitor was wrapped around his upper arm. A grey plastic clip attached to a wire leading the heart monitor was clamped onto his finger.

Sam watched as a sweet-faced nurse changed the IV, flicking away any air bubbles in the long transparent tube. The nurse looked down from the plastic pouch of liquid and at Sam. She smiled sweetly. "He's fighting hard". She said; her voice was soft and sympathetic.

Sam let a smile show quickly, grateful for the nurse's attempt at reassurance, even if it didn't have much effect.

He followed the nurse with his eyes as she left the room, disposing of her gloves as she exited the door.

As the nurse disappeared behind the wall Sam heard her talking to someone.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes I'm a friend of the family".

"Oh okay, go right on in".

Sam looked up from the bed to see Lola standing in the doorway. He stood up from his chair. "Lola".

"Hey Sam". Lola greeted him her voice soft but echoed concern.

Sam moved round the bed and threw himself into a hug.

"Thank god". He hugged her so tightly that she was nearly knocked back. She recipicated the hug by putting her arms round Sam's back. She looked Sam's shoulder at Dean's frail body, so still so vulnerable.

Just at that moment, Maggie came round the corner; she frowned slightly miffed by the stranger that was standing in Sam's embrace. Sam noticed that Maggie was standing there and pulled out of the hug.

"Maggie, this is Lola she's a good friend of Dean's."

"Hi" Lola held up a hand in greeting.

"Hey". Maggie acknowledged her but walked past without so much of a smile.

"Okay." Lola mouthed, looking at Sam with uncertainty. Sam smiled back.

"So any ideas on who might be responsible for this?" Lola enquired, walking over to Dean's bedside.

Sam and Maggie looked at each other. Wondering whether to go into the whole death vision issue. But luckily Lola answered for them.

"Sam answer me, who did this to Dean?" Lola demanded, voiced raised.

Sam shifted from one foot to the other, becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

"I had another vision."

"About Dean?" Lola asked, folding her arms with a frown.

"Yeah, and in the vision, it looked like I was the one that killed him."

"But you didn't?"

"No, I booked another room and was in there when it happened, Maggie found him.

Lola looked at Maggie, who had closed her eyes, trying to shake away the picture of Dean on the bathroom floor.

"God that must have been awful". Lola said to Maggie, sympathy echoing in her voice. She couldn't begin to imagine what it would have been like, to see Dean in that bloody state.

"So it must be some other son of a bitch that's got a vendetta against you guys?"

"Looks like it". Sam replied with a sigh.

Lola looked back at Dean, she gently stroked his hair revealing another cut just below the hairline. She glanced back at Sam; he was rubbing his eyes, trying to keep them open. Maggie was leant against the wall, propping herself up on the windowsill, but with not much success.

"You guys should get some rest, I'll stay here with Dean for a couple of hours".

"Are you sure" Sam yawned.

"Yes, go on, get of here we'll be fine". Lola reassured him. Maggie looked at Sam, unsure of leaving Dean. But Sam gave her a look that put her at ease.

And with that they left the room, Sam smiled at Lola before leaving the room. Lola smiled back then pulled up a chair and set up her vigil at Dean's side, stroking his fingers, the rest of his hand lost under a bandage and canular.

"So are you going to tell me this Lola girl is or do you guys enjoy living in mystery?"

Maggie enquired as she slammed shut the glove compartment after shoving in a road map into the box that was filled with fast food boxes and cups.

Sam glanced at Maggie, then back to the road that stretched out a head of them. The orange sunset bounced off the hood of the Impala and a reflection from the trees zooming past, danced across the windshield.

"We met her while working on a case, well she saved our asses really".

Maggie smiled slightly.

"And we've helped her out on a couple of jobs a while back."

"Oh right, so she and Dean got it together?" Maggie replied her expression softening.

"Uh not exactly".

"Really, its just the way she looked at Dean".

"I know, it's complicated." Sam explained, turning the steering wheel, directing the car to pull into the hotel parking lot.

"Isn't everything complicated with Dean"? Maggie replied as she stepped out of the car.

"Yeah." Sam replied with a smile. The two paused for a moment, their thoughts returned to Dean, lying in the hospital bed.

With some effort they managed to pull themselves out of the trance and hauled their bags out of the trunk.

The two exhausted siblings waked up the stairs to their room. When they reached the door, Maggie left her bag at the door.

I'm gonna go and cancel that room."

"Okay" Sam agreed. Maggie turned on her heels and headed down the stairs to the reception.

Sam pushed the bags through the door, too tired to bend down to pick them up.

Maggie walked up to the check in desk and pressed the brass call bell with her palm.

A tall man with dark slick back hair appeared from a small back room. Maggie raised one eyebrow at the sight of the man's plaid shirt as he walked through the doorway.

"Can I help you miss?"

"Yes, I'd like to cancel the room under the name of Cooper".

"Certainly, anything else I can do for you?" The man asked; making a note in the large logbook that was opened up in front of him.

"Yes, the hospital should be calling me with an update on my brother."

"Oh yes, of course. How is he doing?" The manager enquired in concern, although Maggie was sure that more worried about the reputation of his hotel. Who wants to stay at a hotel were some one was murdered.

"He's going to be fine." Maggie said dryly.

"That's great, again I'm really sorry." The manager gave a false smile.

"Yeah I bet you are." Maggie muttered under her breath as she left the stuffy reception.

Maggie made her way back up the stairs. Her legs ached just as much as her head, from all the worry and panic. She couldn't wait to collapse on her bed and get a couple hours sleep. She started up the second flight of stairs when a gunshot echoed through the stairwell; the terrifying sound came from above her.

"Sam!" Maggie raced up two stairs at a time; she ran to their room and froze in the door. She looked down to see Sam lying motionless on the floor. A dark figure stood over him; he turned and aimed the gun at Maggie.

"Get down!" A voice called from behind her. Maggie dropped to the floor, covering her head with her arms.

Lola blew the stranger back with a shot to the chest. She stormed up and pressed a foot against his chest.

"Who are you?"

The stranger stared coldly back at Lola.

"Who are you, you son of a bitch!" Lola demanded.

"My name's Gordon. I'm the son of a bitch that's gonna save the world from people like him".

Lola frowned, puzzled by this statement.

"People like you". Gordon continued, looking at Maggie who was standing behind Lola.

"You people are parasites, tainted with demon blood and you're gonna be stopped…"

Maggie had heard enough, she fired a shot strait in the middle of Gordon's forehead. Lola watched Maggie in shock as she scooted over to Sam's side.

Maggie grabbed one of Dean's T-shirts that was tossed on the bed and pressed it against the wound, trying desperately to stop the bleeding.

Lola kept her eyes on Maggie as she dialed for an ambulance. Maggie stared at the now blood soaked shirt; Sam was bleeding too heavily and fast for Maggie to stop.

Then it suddenly occurred to her. What if she could heal Sam? She removed the shirt and laid her hands on the wound. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate, on what, she didn't know, all she knew was that she had to do something.

Lola looked at Maggie and frowned with a puzzled look on her face.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll explain later." Maggie brushed off the question, trying desperately for something to happen. But nothing did, the blood just kept pouring out from Sam's stomach.

"Damn it!" Maggie exclaimed; she looked at Sam his face loosing more colour by the second.

"Screw it, you know we'll get there quicker than the ambulance." Lola stated, stooping down to Sam, she swept her auburn curls away from her face and scooped her hands under his arms and began to lift.

"Grab his legs"

Maggie did so; once again her hands were stained with blood. The two women heaved and lifted the 6ft 5 dead wait down the stairs and out to Lola's black Chevy pick-up.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Break the habit of a life time Part 5**_

Maggie sat in silence, staring at the wall of the long corridor that lead to the OR. She heard distant squelching footsteps coming towards her. She looked to her left and saw Lola coming towards her; hair curls had become flattened from the cold rain that had started when they pulled into the hospital. Maggie gave a small smile then looked down to the floor. She looked at Lola's black Van's with white laces, as she stopped in front of her. Maggie moved her eyes up, taking in her savior's appearance. Her black jeans clung to her legs and black top was partly dry in places from were she had her jacket on, her sleeves were bone dry and a slightly lighter colour than the sopping wet front.

"I spoke to the police, I said that it was in self defense. I explained that your brother had been attacked a few hours before and we suspect it was him." Lola informed tying her dripping wet locks into a high bun.

"I'm sorry about before". Maggie apologized.

"I didn't me to be such…"

"A bitch." Lola joked.

"Yeah." Maggie laughed.

Maggie swung her feet round to face Lola and held out her hand.

"I'm Maggie".

"Lola". The girls shook each other's hands and with a laugh.

"So I hear you're a hunter". Maggie enquired.

"Yeah, have been for a few years now. I met Sam and Dean during a job in Oregon."

"Sam said you saved their butts". Maggie replied with a smile.

"Yeah I guess I did." Lola laughed.

"So how do you know the Winchester boys?"

Maggie sighed, thinking of a way to shorten a very long and complicated story.

"Their Dad and my Mom were an item for a while and, lets just say Dean wasn't to happy to hear that I was a result of that night".

"Ah". Lola nodded,

Maggie continued:

"Sam's been great about it but Dean won't even acknowledge that I'm there half the time."

"Yeah…that sounds like those two." Lola sighed.

"And now with this thing with Sam, he's going to blame me."

"No, he won't. I'll see to it that he doesn't."

Maggie smiled as Lola placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder,

"Thanks…God…what am I gonna tell him?"

"I'll tell him. It's why I came to the hotel anyway. He's awake."

Lola could tell from Maggie's expression that she was hesitant to return to Dean's room,

"Look. You wait here, I'll go deal with Dean."

"I can see what Dean sees in you." Maggie admitted as Lola turned away. As Lola retreated down the corridor, her face was laced with skepticism,

"Sure…" She muttered under her breath.

When Lola got to Dean's room, he was sitting up in the bed flinching as he prodded at the cuts on his head.

"Am I going to have to get you a cone"? Lola joked, leaning on the doorframe her arms folded.

"Have you come to give me my sponge bath?" Dean replied, his voice still slightly raspy he tried to laugh but made himself cough, he closed his eyes in pain.

"Easy tiger." Lola replied trying to make a joke of the situation, trying to hide her concern. She held Dean sit forward, she held out a cardboard bowl as Dean's sputter became bloody. Lola cringed looking, swallowing back tears.

Clearing his through, Dean raised his head and exhausted he slumped back onto the pillow.

"Where's Sammy? I thought you went to get him". Dean asked.

Lola licked her lips in awkwardness. She looked down and took Dean's hand.

"He's been shot Dean, by some guy named Gordon."

"What?" Dean pulled his hand away, frowning.

"He was after Sam and Maggie, something to do with them being tainted with Demon blood." Lola continued, but Dean had stopped listening from the words "Sam" and "shot".

He pulled himself up grunting in pain as he did so.

"Dean". Lola tried to stop Dean from tearing out his IV and hurting himself.

"Where is he?" Dean pulled the covers from his legs, but even that small movement took a great effort.

"Dean would you stop, your gonna hurt yourself."

"I don't care."

"Well I do!" Lola's statement made Dean stop his escape attempt.

"Now just wait here and I'll see if I can get a wheel chair and I'll take you to see him".

Dean reluctantly sat back in the bed.

"Thank you". Lola looked at him, wishing that she didn't care so much.

She turned and went out to the nurses' station.

"This is ridicules, I can walk." Dean complained as Lola wheeled him down to the Intensive Care Unit.

"Look, you've just had you're second blood transfusion Dean, you're not walking anywhere". Lola reasoned, pushing Dean back down into his seat. Dean let out a sigh of frustration.

"That and you've got your ass hanging out and no one wants to see that". Lola teased, leaning down to Dean's ear. Dean looked round, his eyes narrowed and he gave Lola a pout that would rival even Sam.

Lola looked away, puffing up out her cheeks, eyebrows raised she let out a puff of air.

"Why do you have to be so grouchy?"

"You'd be grouchy too if you had a tube were I have a tube right now". Dean replied, his eyebrows raised. He folded his arms, closing his flannel robe even tighter.

The jokes didn't last long as they answered the ICU. A feeling of dread filled Dean's face as Lola pushed the chair to Sam's bedside.

A large plastic tube followed from his mouth to a life support machine. The large accordion like apparatus clicked up and down in a rhythmic motion. Dean could barely stand to see his little brother like this.

Lola looked up at Maggie, who was standing at the other side of the bed. She nodded, silently asking if she was okay. Maggie smiled weakly. Dean just stared down at his brother's pale face.

"What did the doctors say?" Lola asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"They said he's stable but still in critical condition." Maggie replied.

"Were you there?" Dean finally spoke, but keeping his eyes fixed on Sam.

Maggie looked at Dean with a frown. "Yes, I was downstairs when I heard the shot".

"You left him alone?" Dean looked up at Maggie, a look of anger in his eyes.

"I went to cancel the room, I was only gone for a second." Maggie defended herself.

"What room? You shouldn't have left him alone". Dean was beginning to raise his voice.

"Dean". Lola stepped in, trying to clam him down.

"We should never have brought you with us." Dean continued his voice low but stern.

"Don't… don't you dare… don't you dare blame me for this." Maggie defended herself, her voice slightly raised.

"She's right Dean, if any one is to blame its that Gordon bastard." Lola interjected in Maggie's defense.

"Would you excuse me, I'd like a moment alone with my brother." Dean glanced back at Sam, not wanting to look at Lola or Maggie, hinting for them to leave. Lola and Maggie took the hint, they both sighed and left the room. Lola looked back over her shoulder and took one more look at Dean before turning down the corridor.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Break the habit of a life time Part 6**_

A few hours later, Dean could no longer sit at Sam's bedside, unable to do anything. He couldn't look at his pale face, all wires and tubes, anymore. He took a slow walk down to the main reception of the hospital and sat in the waiting room.

He let out a weary sigh of frustration and tried to wipe away the tiredness in his eyes. When he moved his hands from his eyes, he saw Maggie coming towards him, she was holding a cup in her hand and held it out to him. Dean shook his head in rejection and sat back in the chair. Maggie looked at the cup of orange juice, her tongue in cheek irritated by his refusal of the drink.

She sat down next to Dean, but he edged away slightly. This was too much for Maggie to take any longer, she couldn't hold it in; she had to confront him.

"Dean is there something bothering you?" Her tone was low and stern.

Dean sniggered and sat up, leaning forward clenching his fists. "Yeah there's something bothering me, what's bothering me is that we've been here for two hours and you haven't even attempted to heal Sam".

Maggie shuffled in her seat taken aback by Dean's statement.

"Dean, I tried before the ambulance showed up, nothing happened".

Dean shook his head and rose from his chair.

"I don't know why but I can only heal myself". Maggie continued.

"Well good for you". Dean looked at Maggie coldly.

Maggie stood up quickly, offended and shocked by Dean's remark.

"My god you really do have that low an opinion of me". Maggie frowned at Dean who just stared back.

"You know what Dean, your right, I am holding back. I want to watch Sam die, just like I wanted to watch my Mom die". Maggie defended herself, her voice wobbled as tears filled her eyes. Dean's expression softened slightly he could tell that his comments had hit a nerve. But he couldn't help but still feel angered, while Sam was fighting for his life, Maggie was standing in front of him, fit and healthy, nothing to bring her down.

"Do you honestly think, that I want this, to watch everyone I care about, die". Maggie continued her argument; the tears had now spilled over and were rolling down her face.

Dean looked at his feet then up at Maggie, he considered apologising; he could tell that what he had said hurt her, but when it came to his brother's safety, Dean held no punches. The idea of there being no way to help Sam was too much.

"I don't know what to think". He brushed past Maggie and walked out of the Hospital.

Maggie was left reeling, her face was flushed with anger and hurt. She turned on her heels and chased after Dean; she was not going to let this go.

"What do you want me to say Dean? I'm sorry… I'm sorry if you feel like I screwed up your life, but you screwed up mine. You killed the only person I had in the world. But I can look past that because I know that she's better off than she was."

Maggie shouted after Dean who was at the bottom of the stone steps leading to the hospital. Dean stopped reluctantly but kept his back to her.

"Why can't you do that, why can't you look past what your Dad did and see me". "I'm not trying to split up your family Dean I want to be a part of it. I don't want to be alone… I don't".

Dean turned round and just stared back, not knowing what to say, his emotions a tangled mess. Deep down he knew that she was right. It was John's actions that had lead them to this point. But he couldn't help but be reminded of it every time he looked at Maggie.

But he also remembered the countless times he had made bargains for his family. He remembered how lonely he felt every time he considered loosing Sam. For a second he considered the idea that he and Maggie were more alike than he would like to admit.

Maggie looked at Dean, waiting for a response. Her cheeks glistened as she flinched, swallowing fresh tears that began to fill her eyes.

The silence was too much to bear any longer. She turned and walked back towards the hospital.

Dean sighed, looking down at his feet. Partly angered by his inability to say what he felt, but also relieved to have got out of revealing his emotions yet again.


	7. Chapter 7

As Maggie stomped her way up the stairs angrily, Lola was making her way down the stone stairway. She paused a few steps down and caught Maggie on the way up,

"Are you okay?" Lola asked, gently touching Maggie's arm.

Maggie sent her an almost chilling look before remarking.

"Why don't you ask him?" She spat, looking back over her shoulder briefly at Dean who was loitering at the bottom of the stairs. Lola followed her gaze to see him and narrowed her eyes.

Maggie continued up the staircase, leaving Lola watching Dean attempt to limp off, only to lose his balance and fall, grabbing a hold of the handrail for support. With a gasp of breath she ran down the remaining stairs and wrapped her arms around his stomach, easing him down onto the steps,

"Dean…c'mon…sit down…" She soothed as she did so, almost losing her own balance in the process, "You know if you would loose that chip on your shoulder for a second you would see that she's more like you than you think"

He pulled his shoulder away from her as he sat down so that he turned his back towards her slightly,

"I'm fine."

"Yeah…course you are!" Lola muttered as she stood, "I'm going to get your wheelchair!"

"I don't need a wheelchair! I'm fine by myself!" He snapped,

"What is your problem?" She fumed, "Why won't you let anyone help you? You're pushing everyone away! You're pushing Maggie away…"

"You don't know anything about that!"

She glared back at him,

"You're pushing Maggie away just like you push me away!"

"As I recall, you're the one that stayed behind with your lover boy!"

"Oh get over yourself!" She growled, "That had nothing to do with you. Brett and I…"

"What're you doing here anyway?" He sneered,

"Sam called me. I got on the first flight back. I wanted to know you were okay. I was worried, Dean."

"Well, I'm fine. Thanks for your time…" He heaved as he hauled himself up, clinging onto the handrail so tight his knuckles turned white. He stood there, staring at her expectantly,

"I'm not leaving." She stated, crossing her arms over her chest,

"Why not? You're good at that."

"Well maybe if someone admitted their feelings then I wouldn't have to leave."

Dean looked away,

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't." Lola laughed bitterly, "There you go again, Dean…pushing me away!"

"Well if I push you away so much why do you bother coming back?"

"Why can't you admit that you love me!" She practically sobbed, her voice rising with emotion as tears began to well in her eyes,

"Because I don't." He answered quietly.

Lola stood there shaking in shock as hot tears trailed down her cheeks and splattered onto the cold hard floor. It took all of her strength to stand there and be able to form a coherent sentence,

"Fine…" She croaked, taking a staggering step forwards, pushing her shoulder against his, which knocked him back against the wall. As she moved passed him, she muttered something low and close to his ear so that only he could hear, "Screw you Dean Winchester."

Back in Sam's hospital room, Maggie was sat in a chair beside his bed.

"Sam… you can't die on me, I need you. You're the only one that's seemed to care about me for so long." "And Dean…if you die…he's gonna hate me".

Maggie leant on Sam's bed looking at him as tears filled her eyes. "I don't know what to do…I just…I hate what's happened to me…I don't want it…I don't…"

Then it was at that moment she knew what she had to do. She shot up from her seat and darted out of the room.

Maggie raced down the 10 flights of stairs, all he way to the basement. She found the doors that read 'Boiler room' in red letters. She pushed open the doors and walked to the middle of the room. She held in her hand a small tin box and placed it on the concrete floor.

A few tense minutes passed then she felt a cold breeze tickle the back of her neck. She spun round to see a man in his 20s standing before her. His jet-black spiky hair was barely visible in the darkness. His eyes that were a light blue turned a ruby red.

"How may I be of service" The demon smiled, looking Maggie up and down.

"I would have thought that was pretty obvious." Maggie replied dryly.

"Humor me."

"I want to make a deal… I want you to take my gift and give it to Sam."

"Okay."

Maggie frowned slightly surprised by the demon's quick agreement to the deal.

"That's it, you're not going to make me bargain for how many years I get to live?"

"Nope… you can have what you want… no price". The demon replied an unnerving smile on his face.

Maggie hesitated for a second, but she was willing to do anything for Sam, no matter what the cost, she had to do it.

Maggie sealed the deal, cringing as her lips came into contact into the demon's. She pulled away with a look of disgust on her face.

"Pleasure doing business with you." The demon remarked and disappeared just as quickly as he had appeared before Maggie's eyes.

Top of Form


	8. Chapter 8

_**Break the habit of a lifetime part 8 **_

"_Flight five one eight to Heathrow, England is now boarding. Would all passengers please make their way to gate eleven. Thank you."_

Lola wiped at her red, puffy eyes as she clutched her boarding pass tightly. As she thought back to the hospital and the argument with Dean she'd had less than an hour before hand she felt another wave of tears threatening to fall. Lola was as stubborn as he was and would never admit to anyone just how heart wrenching it was to walk away from Dean when he so obviously needed help,

"What would Sam say…?" She breathed, "He's never abandoned Dean no mater how irritable he gets." Lola felt guilty at this thought. How could she just walk away from Dean like she had? He was severely injured, barely able to walk and she'd been so uncaring and so afraid of being hurt that she hadn't seen his cry for help. With a sudden spin she turned to the main entrance and made a run. Her truck was still in the airport car park waiting for Bobby to pick it up again not long after dropping it off for her. She knew she had to get back to the hospital, swallow her pride and stand her ground where Dean was concerned. She realized that if Dean didn't care for her, Sam wouldn't have called her to be by his side the way he had. Silently cursing herself for her own stupidity she screeched out of the car park and back towards the hospital.

Back at the hospital Maggie entered Sam's hospital room. She walked over to the side of Sam's bed looking to see if the deal had gone into effect yet. She let out a sigh of frustration. Why wasn't it working?

Just then she felt a sharp pain in the center of her forehead. She felt something warm and wet trickling down her head. She felt at her head, moving her hand down she realized that it was blood. The pain grew even more intense, she franticly felt round to the back of her head that too was bleeding. Suddenly she doubled over in pain as a blinding pain hit her in the back. Blood began to seep through her white tank top. She cried out in pain, struggling for breath. Her chest tightened as began to loose feeling in her extremities.

She took in one last sharp breath and just as she did, Sam sprung into consciousness.

He saw Maggie lying motionless on the floor, immersed in a pool of blood. But he couldn't move or even shout for help, as the breathing tube was still connected. He frantically felt around for the nurses call button. He pressed it repeatedly, his eyes wide and fixed on Maggie.

Dean was walking up to Sam's room when he saw a yellow light flashing above his door, he fastened his pace as much as he could, fear and terror setting in.

When he got to the doorway, he saw Sam gagging on the tube, his eyes watering with pain and fear. Dean finally noticed Maggie on the floor.

"Oh my god…help… I need help in here!" Dean called out to anyone that would hear him. He crouched down as fast as his aching muscles would allow next to Maggie. He held her cheek, trying to rouse her. But her face was deathly white and flopped as Dean moved it to the side.

"Maggie…Maggie." Dean called out her name, a team of nurses who scooped up Maggie and took her into the room next door pulled him away.

Dean looked at Sam, who was now free from the life support. He looked at him to check if he was okay. Sam nodded, urging him to go on and check on Maggie. Dean nodded back and left Sam with the nurse who had stayed behind to care for him.

After 3 agonising hours waiting for the all clear, the doctor fianlly emerged from Maggie's room and approached the two brother's, who were waiting on tenderhooks in the hallway. "She's stable but still in criticle condition and Im afraid she has gone into a coma, there's nothing we can do now but keep her vitals up and wait." The doctor informed, his voice solem and sympathetic. He gave a small nod and left the boys to say thier goodbyes. They went into the room, the only sounds were the constant beeps from the heart monitor. Sam stood beside Maggie looking down at her small frail body, scarred and bloodied.

"We can't leave her like this Dean." Sam pleaded as Dean walked round Maggie's bedside to the door. Dean stopped in his tracks, a sense of guilt and sadness filling his face. He looked over Sam's shoulder a Maggie. Her long brunet hair gently trailed over her shoulders. Her mouth was open slightly as the tube from the life support pulled her bottom lip down.

"Sam we can't do anything for her, not sitting around here anyway",

Sam shook his head, but he knew Dean was right, no matter how much he hated to admit it. He stamped his foot down before turning on his heals and trailing off down the corridor. Dean hung back; he looked back at Maggie. "I'm sorry" He said quietly then left the room after Sam.

An eerie silence filled the room, the chirping of the birds outside the window suddenly stopped. Suddenly Maggie's eyes shot open, only the hazel brown colour had been replaced by a thick dark black. She raised her left hand and pulled out the breathing tube with no distress. She took in a sharp breath and sat upright. She yanked out the wires from her chest and finger. She then pulled out the IV without even flinching.

Maggie pressed the nurse call button that was hung by her bed then moved over to the door and hid out of sight. A male nurse entered the room and Maggie kicked him in the back causing him to fly across the floor. Maggie shut the door and stalked over to the nurse, sprawled out on the cold floor. She used her foot to turn him over onto his back then knelt down beside him. She took hold of the nurse's head, and with one quick motion, broke his neck. Maggie removed the badge and then his uniform. A few minutes later she emerged from the room, disguised in scrubs.

Keeping her head down Maggie managed to walk right out of the hospital. She even swiped a bag of clothes from a patient that was sitting in the ambulance bay without the woman noticing. Just as Maggie walked out of the hospital grounds with a smug look on her face, Lola's black pick up passed. Fortunately Maggie didn't notice; she kept on walking past the large stone fountain facing the front of the hospital. Lola looked on in shock; she circled round the fountain and began to follow Maggie, keeping her speed to a minimal so as not to be noticed by Maggie, or whoever she was possessed by.

Meanwhile, Dean was back behind the wheel of his beloved Impala, he took the drive slow as his arms were still a little sore. Black Sabbath was playing full blast on the radio as they made their way back to the hotel along the dark road. Sam lent forward his face creased into a frown, and turned the radio off, almost pulling off the button.

"Something wrong Sammy?" Dean enquired, taken aback by his brother's actions. Sam didn't answer; he remained silent for the rest of the journey. When the finally arrived at the hotel and pulled into the parking lot, Sam kicked open the door and stormed up to the hotel entrance.

"What the hell is you're problem?" Dean fumed as he caught up with Sam.

"Where's Lola?" Sam asked, tilting his head to one side.

"She took off again."

"What did you say this time?"

"Nothing!" Dean snapped. "She said that I keep pushing her away, so I said that if she hated so much she should go, so she did".

Sam stared at his brother in disbelief.

"You're an idiot you know that."

"Whaaat?" Dean drawled.

"The one girl entire world that actually gets you, that isn't some empty headed moron that only wants you for one night. She actually likes you and cares about you." "Do you know what, I'd give anything to have a girl like Lola look at me the way she looks at you."

"Then you have her!"

"…God you really are a jerk you know that."

"Hey screw you, everyone seems to think that I've fallen for this girl!"

"If you would just admit it then…" Sam trailed off. "She's right you know, you're pushing everyone away. Even now you cant even think of Maggie and the sacrifices she's made! Pretty soon you're going to end up all alone!" You keep this up and you're going to die alone Dean!"

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam before turning and storming out of the hotel.

He tramped up to the Impala and dropped into the car, slammed the driver door shut and sped out of the lot in reverse. He got to the road and skidded round to face the horizon. With the stereo blaring, Dean floored it down the road.

What seemed like a few seconds later, due to the speed he was going, Dean screeched to a halt on a wooden bridge over looking a river. He kicked open the car door and got out of the driver's seat. He turned round and lent against the side of the car, resting his hands on the roof.

He couldn't hold it together anymore. The walls that he had tried so hard to keep up finally broke down. Sam was right; sooner or later he was going to end up alone. And it would be no ones fault but his own. The emotional closure that he had relied on to stop himself from getting hurt, was in reality ultimately going to hurt him even more.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Break the habit of a lifetime part 9**_

"Hello Dean." A familiar voice spoke from behind him. He spun round to see Maggie standing before him as fit as ever wearing a black leather jacket, dark blue jeans and boots,

"Maggie?" Dean frowned. Maggie blinked revealing cold black eyes.

Dean's eyes widened as Maggie held up her right hand. Dean flew back into the Impala, she then swept her hand to the side and the door of the Chevy slammed shut. With a tilt of her head, Maggie started the Impala's engine with her mind. The car's tires screeched, then sped off as Maggie released the hand brake. The Impala broke strait through the wooden railings and plummeted nose first into the river,

"NO!" Lola screamed. She had arrived just in time to see Dean and his car drive off of the bridge, "Dean!" She cried, rushing over but Maggie had spun around by now and with a sly smile, blocked her path. Lola had tears running down her face and she gritted her teeth, "What have you done!" She growled,

"Lola, Lola, Lola…" Maggie drawled, "If only you knew, you wouldn't follow him around like a pathetic lost puppy. You can't hide your feelings from me, little girl."

"Get out of my way!" Lola snapped,

"You're wasting your time…" Maggie muttered, "If you only knew…"

"Knew what!"

"Dean's time is running out…he has only a few months left to live."

"W…what?"

"Oh, didn't he tell you?" Maggie pouted, "Poor little Sammy died a while back so Dean selflessly gave his life in a deal with a demon." She continued, "But poor Dean was only allowed one last year on this green Earth," She sighed, "sad really…and just when he finds a lovely young lady like yourself to dote on him."  
"You're lying!"

"I wish I was…that Dean, he's a hot one, don't you think…lovely eyes…big strong arms…but go ahead…ask him…if you can get to him that is!"

Lola lunged for Maggie, swinging her fist for the other woman's face. She missed as Maggie stepped to the side, tripping the female hunter. Lola fell, hitting her head on the wooden slats, holding her head; she cringed as she looked back up, though Maggie had already disappeared. Lola pulled herself up and mounted the railing. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she dived into the cold, murky water waiting below after Dean. She spotted the Impala as it disappeared below.

She swam up to the driver's side, pressing her face against the glass. She could just make out Dean's face, blank and pale. He looked directly at her, pressing his hand against hers behind the glass before losing consciousness. Lola banged on the window, tugging frantically at the door handle, the fear of losing Dean overwhelming.

Back at the hotel, there was a knock on the Winchester's door. Sam answered, thinking that Dean had returned after cooling down, but was shocked to find Maggie standing there, "Hello Sam." She grinned before raising her hands so that Sam flew back against the far wall, knocking him unconscious.

Sam slowly opened his eyes, his head pounding. He tried to move but soon discovered that he was bound to a chair,

"How's your head, Sammy?" Maggie gloated,

"Who are you?"

"Awh Sam, I'm disappointed. I would've thought after two weeks in your head you would remember me."

"Meg."

"Did you miss me?"

"Where's Dean?"

"Oh he's just gone for a little drive…right off Oakland Bridge…" She informed pointing dramatically out in front of her, wearing a smug smile,

"Why?"

"He's not needed anymore. He's served his purpose just as Maggie served hers."

"What're you talking about?"

"It's all part of the plan, Sammy. It was Dean's destiny to bring you back and it was Maggie's destiny to give her gift to you. The war's not over yet. Maggie's gift was never meant for her, it was all for you to make you an unstoppable killing machine. But you just don't have that in you; do you Sam? You're pathetic. Weak. If anyone here is gonna be a leader, it's me!" She exclaimed.

All of a sudden the door flew open and in squelched a soaking wet Dean and Lola, both with their guns aimed at Meg who rolled her eyes,

"Why can't you people just die?" She fumed, turning her attention to Lola, "I have to say, I'm impressed. You're strong, feisty! Just Dean's type…too bad he's too much of an emotional cripple to admit it."

Lola narrowed her eyes at Meg as she dropped her gun to the floor,

"You know…" She began, "I've had just about enough of you talking." She sighed, placing her hands firmly behind her back, "You and I, we don't have any beef, now, do we? I mean, sure…I'm a hunter…" She continued, beginning to slowly pace around Meg, "But we've never met before. I'm not part of this so-called war. I never asked to be involved."

"You became involved the minute you were born. Everyone has a destiny Lola…clearly yours is to follow Dean Winchester to the ends of the Earth…even if it is for a short time."

"You see; that's where you're wrong. Sam and Dean are my friends, sure…but I'm not going to give my life to follow them anywhere…I'm just not like that. I'm my own person…you said so yourself, I'm strong. Since when do I need a man for anything other than the obvious."

"You'd make a good demon." Meg said proudly,

"Thank you." Lola nodded, "I'm sly enough." She announced, holding her hands up, the remainders of petals, herbs and salt on one hand, a large gash slashed across the palm of the other. Meg looked down,

"NO!" She screamed realizing that Lola had surrounded her with a Hoodoo circle, sealing her within it, "You little bitch!"

"Granted!" Lola beamed, "Get her, guys…" She muttered, winding a strip of rag around her palm.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Break the habit of a lifetime part 10**_

"There. That aught to do it." Dean remarked; drawing the last line in the devils trap he had traced in white chalk on the ceiling. He jumped off the chair and walked over to a desk at the far end of the room, never taking his eyes off Meg.

Dean whipped out their Dad's journal from Sam's faded leather bag. He opened it on the page earmarked for exorcisms.

Meg tilted her head to one side; a frown grew across her forehead narrowing her eyes at Dean. Dean began the Latin chant; Meg twitched slightly and then again. Lola untied Sam and the two watched as Dean circled Meg; continuing the chant.

"Come on Dean…you don't want to do this…you cant afford more blood on your hands." Meg bargained, her head jerking from side to side, back and forth even more. "You killed your father, you killed Maggie's Mom…and now you're going to kill her?"

Dean paused looking Meg strait in the eyes.

"That's right… with out me…protecting her, healing her…she's just a battered corpse…without me she's dead."

Dean looked back a looked back, a look of disgust on his face.

"I mean, she knew you hated her, but she never thought you would go this far to get her out of your life." Megs spat, her voice breaking.

"That's enough!" Lola took the book from Dean's hands. "You're not going to screw with my head bitch!" Lola scowled and continued the exorcism.

Meg dropped to the floor in pain, she held her head down and screamed an intense burning grew in her head. Suddenly she snapped her head up, her pitch black eyes looked strait at Sam who collapsed, clutching at his chest, blood began seeping through his shirt. Dean looked at Sam, his eyes widened in panic. "No!"

Lola stopped for a second, shocked by what was happened, but continued, stumbling over her words.

Just then Meg closed her eyes, she cringed and spoke in a soft but form voice. "No"

She opened her eyes, Maggie's hazel brown eyes shone through. "No!" Maggie screamed as she fought to overpower Meg. She closed her eyes tightly as she cried out, as if her shouts were holding Meg back. Sam took in a sharp breath and relaxed on the floor.

Maggie turned to Dean, her face creased in agony, tears rolling down her face.

"Finnish it." She spoke in almost a whisper. Dean looked back in disbelief. "Finish it!" Maggie cried out, she could no longer hold onto her own mind.

Dean snatched the journal from Lola's grasp and did as he was asked. Meg shouted out in pain her head facing the floor as she dug her nails into the floorboards, scratching at the grooves in the wood. Suddenly she threw her head back, screaming as black smoke spilled out of her mouth rising up and filtered into the devils trap.

After a few seconds, the fog was gone; Maggie flopped over onto the floor, unconscious and pale.

Dean knelt down by her side; he held her head up gently. "Maggie." He spoke softly looking at her expressionless face. She opened her eyes ever so slightly; and smiled a smallest smile. She was free.

Sam looked on silently, tears welling in his eyes; Lola put a gentle arm around his shoulder, the other holding his arm.

"Maggie…Thank you…for Sam." Dean whispered.

"Its okay…" Maggie croaked.

"No… no its not…I treated you like crap…and I shouldn't have." Dean cut short Maggie's reasurance, shaking his head, guilt echoing in his voice. "And you were right, none of this is your fault."

"Its not your fault either Dean" Maggie whispered, the colour fading from her lips.

"Just do me a favor okay."

Dean looked down at the frail gentle face looking up at him.

"Look after yourself Dean." Maggie looked strait into Dean's eyes, meaning every word of the request.

Sam cringed, hating what he was seeing, dreading what was going to happen.

Dean looked right back, for the first time since they met he let himself see the caring selfless light in her eyes as it went out. Maggie slowly closed her eyes, drawing one last breath. A tear rolled down Dean's cheek. "I'm sorry."

Sam turned away, tears streaming down his face, the emotion and guilt overwhelming. Lola slowly walked up to Dean, she knelt down beside him. She had never seen him so quiet…so emotional. She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Dean shook his head, as if to say that he didn't deserve her sympathy. But he ultimately gave in; tears fell down his face. Lola leaned in, planting a gentle kiss on the top of his head before resting her cheek on it.

Dean held Maggie's cold body close to him. "I'm so sorry." He repeated, through gritted teeth and tears. He felt and anger swell from the pit of his stomach. The demon was right, all the sacrifices she had made, and this was how he repaid her, by letting her die.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Break the habit of a lifetime part 11...The final instalment...**_

Sam sat on the white wicker chair positioned in the corner of the room. Looking over at the bed where Maggie lay. Dean was leaning against the wall, but didn't stay there for long. He thrust his fist against the wall, pulling himself away from the wall. He stalked over to the dressing table opposite Maggie's deathbed. He looked at the lifeless reflection in the mirror; then smashed it with a clenched fist again and again. Sam flinched in the chair, startled and slightly disturbed by Dean's actionsbut kept his eyes on Maggie.

Dean then proceeded to pick up a nearby chair and threw it against the wall, leaving a dent in the plaster. He turned around, seething, looking for something else to punch or throw. But unable to find anything he swept the pile of papers and newspaper clippings off the nearby dining table. He kicked the table leg causing it to break and collapse. At that moment Lola returned with a brown bag. "Dean what the hell are you doing?" She asked, with a frown, shocked by the state of the room. Dean stormed out the room, without even looking at Lola.

"Dean!" Lola called after him. She turned to look at Sam; he finally lifted his gaze from the bed, his eyes puffy and red, simply looked at Lola. "This isn't the fist time someone has sacrificed their lives for us." He croaked. Lola shook her head and frowned, trying to understand what happened to these guys to screw them up so much.

She placed the bag on the free twin bed and followed after Dean, hoping to catch him before he drove off in the state he was. But she got there just in time to see Dean speed off in a rickety blue truck, which he had obviously hotwired.

Lola jumped into her Chevy pick up and followed the direction of the skid marks.

When she finally caught up with him, Dean was standing on the same bridge she had pulled him from last night. A six pack, which was already minus three bottles, in his hand, watching as he precious Impala was dredged from the river.

"The one thing I could fix, and even that's screwed to hell." Dean drawled, who had seen Lola pull up.

"Dean what are you doing?" Lola sighed.

"What does it look like I'm doing." Dean slurred as he slumped down the railings to the floor.

"Dean, Maggie asked you to take care of yourself, you call this taking care." Lola bent down next to Dean, his face was drawn, his clothes disheveled.

"So what…it's not like she's here to tell me off…" Dean trailed off.

"They're all gonna die on me Lola...sooner or later…" Dean looked up to the horizon, squinting through the sunrise.

"Mom's dead…Dad's dead…I lost Sammy once…and now Maggie." He continued flicking a bottle top at the opposite slat railings.

"I can't do it anymore, I can't loose anyone else." "Why can't I have my family…why cant…why do I have to save everybody else?" Dean looked at Lola showing her a side, a pain that she had never seen before, gone was the strong, closed off lady's man she had gotten to know so well. Before her sat a broken, scared man, in a drunken mess. She couldn't handle this side of him; it hurt too much to see him like this. She pulled him up and hauled him into her car. And with what she now knew about his deal with a demon, made it all the more painful.

When they got back to the hotel, she staggered up the stairs, Dean leaning on her for support not that could give much under his 6ft frame. She handed him over to Sam, passing him from her shoulder to his.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked; his cheeks glistened from fresh tears that had spilled over in their absence.

"I've just got to get some air." Lola replied quickly, darting down the steps to the pick up. She sped off down the road, the tired screeched on the tarmac as the wheels spun with lightning speed.

An hour later she came to a dirt road, she skidded to a stop just in the middle of a crossroads. She ransacked her trunk; finally finding what she was looking for, she slammed the lid shut. She stormed up to the center of the crossroads and buried a rusty tin box. Then stood expectantly.

"Two deals in 24 hours, I'm having a busy week?" A cocky voice caused Lola to spin round. There stood the demon, eyes red, bold as brass.

"And what can I do for you gorgeous?"

"Lets cut the crap, I know you can read minds…you know what I want, so lets get this over and done with shall we." Lola walked up to the demon, her voice was clam but firm.

"Lets get down to business then." The demon agreed slightly shocked by Lola's confidence.

The two locked lips, a strong wind blew around them, whipping Lola's auburn curls around her face.

The wind seemed to be leading in a direction, strait to Sam and Dean's hotel room. The window burst open. The brother's looked at each other both stunned and puzzled by what was happening.

Suddenly Maggie's eyes sprung open. She sat up with a start. She looked at Sam then at Dean with a frown; who both returned the expression with tilted heads and an even deeper frown.

How could she be alive, it had been several hours since the exorcism, she had given up her gift.

How could she be alive?

_**(To be continued….)**_


End file.
